Day Nineteen, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2015

Posted on April 19, 2015 by MaryO

 

Because it’s a Sunday again, this is a semi-religious post…

After I was finished with the Cushing’s long diagnostic process, surgery and several post-op visits to NIH, I was asked to give the scripture reading at my church. The man who preached the sermon that week was the survivor of a horrific accident where he and his family were hit by a van while waiting at an airport.

I thought I had written down the scripture reading carefully. I practiced and practiced. I don’t like speaking in front of a crowd but I said I would. When I got to church, the reading was different. Maybe I wrote it down wrong, maybe someone changed it. Whatever.

The real scripture turned out to be Psalm 116. I got very emotional while reading this and started crying when I got to verse 8 “For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death“.  Others in the congregation who knew part of my story were very moved, too.

psalm-116-1-4

Psalm 116 (New International Version)

1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.

2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

4 Then I called on the name of the LORD:
“O LORD, save me!”

5 The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

6 The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,

9 that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

10 I believed; therefore I said,
“I am greatly afflicted.”

11 And in my dismay I said,
“All men are liars.”

12 How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints.

16 O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant;
you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.

18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,

19 in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

 

This Psalm has come to have so much meaning in my life. When I saw at a book called A Musician’s Book of Psalms each day had a different psalm. “My” psalm  was listed as the reading for my birthday, so I had to buy this book!  For a while, it was the license plate on my car.

I carry a print out of this everywhere I go because I find it very soothing. “when I was in great need, he saved me.” This print out is in a plastic page saver.

On the other side there is an article I found after my kidney cancer.  You can read that article in Day Twenty-five, coming up on April 25, 2015.  Plan Ahead!

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Interview with Stephanie – PCOS, Possibly Cushing’s Patient

Posted on April 18, 2015 by MaryO

interview

The next interview on BlogTalk Radio will be Wednesday, April 22 at 6:00 PM eastern.  The Call-In number for questions or comments is (657) 383-0416.

Steph has a bio posted here: http://cushingsbios.com/2015/04/16/stephanie-steph-undiagnosed-bio/

The archived interview will be available after 7:00 PM Eastern through iTunes Podcasts (Cushie Chats) or BlogTalkRadio.  While you’re waiting, there are currently 82 other past interviews to listen to!

In her bio, Steph writes:

Hi. My name Steph, and this has been a long journey for me so far, and I see a long road ahead. Hopefully their will be a rainbow once all these clouds have melted away.

I just turned 33 years old (this month) and have been dealing with symptoms of Cushing’s since I was a pre-teen without even knowing it. I was diagnosed (or possibly mis-diagnosed) with PCOS when I was about 11. That’s when the irregular (to almost non-existent) menstrual cycles, hirutism (chin, upper lip, upper and lower thighs, fingers, toes, basically everywhere) and weight problems began. I was immediately put on birth control to regulate my periods, which only made my life a living nightmare. They forced on a fake (non-ovulating) period and made my moods a disaster. I went on to be on birth control until from the age of 11 until about 3 years ago when I just couldn’t take it anymore, and took myself off. I’ve been using herbal supplements for menstrual regulalation since then, and feel MUCH better.

Over the years I’ve always felt like there was something “more than PCOS” wrong with me. From the extreme inability to lose weight normally, and the ease to gain it, to the weak legs, vitamen d insuffeciency, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, extreme irritability, now non-existent cycle, shortness of breath (just from walking up 1 flight of stairs), slow healing, hoarse voice, high testosterone, male pattern baldness, blurry vision, EXTREME brain fog etc….. It has been very, very, very tough and emotional over the years. It has taken a toll on my personality, emotions, and those around me….

The way that I found out about cushing’s is rather unique. I was on a popular PCOS message board site called “soul cysters”, and I have always been EXTREMELY self conscience of my round puffy face, and was wondering if it could be a side effect of PCOS. So I searched Puffy face on the message board to see if others on the board had experienced it, and sure enough Cushing’s came up, and a suprising number of women either had both (cushing’s and PCOS) or had been mis-diagnosed, which apparently is very common with cushing’s. it was like a gigantic light bulb went off in my head when I started googling cushings symptoms. All these things that I have been experiencing almost my entire life started coming together. I’m really not crazy!! Everything is possibly related. Im almost 100% sure that this is it!!! I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, as I see that cushing’s is curable in most cases, but it is also scary, and diagnosing it seems like hell!!

I have began my -already slow- journey to diagnosis. And, the the Dr.’s don’t seem to be all that well informed. However, I am DETERMINED. I am excited at the thought of possibly being able to get my life back through surgery or meds. I went to a well respected Endo in my area, and she is gonna test all of my hormones, including my cortisol level. Though she didn’t seem to be too informed on Cushing’s when I brought it up, along with my “dead ringer” symptoms. I’m going to a pulmonologist on the 29th as suggested by my GP (who also thinks I have cushings, but admits he’s not well informed enough or equipped to diagnose). I’m also going to an OBGYN soon (tried going to one today, and had to walk out because it was such a bad experience). But I am determined to get 2nd, 3rd, and however many opinions are needed until I am satisfied.

Also, on a side note, possibly having cushing’s, along with having PCOS, has made me look at the doctors and the medical profession as a whole in a different light. I feel like if you find a genuinely good doctor who listens, cares, takes you seriously, and is willing to test you without question, and work with you, your levels, and your symptoms, you are blessed!! I have had so many doctors try to push meds down my throat (for their own pockets/greed obviously) when it wasn’t needed or necessary without hesitation or question. And, then when I tell them that the medicine is affecting me adversely, they just tell me to keep taking it! It’s sad and ridiculous. I’ve had to learn to do my own research, know my own body well, and trust my own judgement…..

I will be praying for myself and everyone on this message board who has had to deal with this horrific symptoms over the years.

Updates coming…..

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Day Eighteen, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2015

Posted on April 18, 2015 by MaryO

 

I have seen this image several places online and it never ceases to crack me up. Sometimes, we really have strange things going on inside our bodies.

Usually, unlike Kermit, we ourselves know that something isn’t quite right, even before the doctors know. Keep in touch with your own body so you’ll know, even before the MRI.

I asked doctors for several years – PCP, gynecologist, neurologist, podiatrist – all said the now-famous refrain. “It’s too rare. You couldn’t have Cushing’s.” I kept persisting in my reading, making copies of library texts even when I didn’t understand them, keeping notes. I just knew that someone, somewhere would “discover” that I had Cushing’s.

Finally, someone did.

These days, there’s no excuse to keep you from learning all you can about what’s going on with you. There’s your computer and the internet. Keep reading and learning all you can. You have a vested interest in what’s going on inside, not your doctor.

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Day Seventeen, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2015

Posted on April 17, 2015 by MaryO

I wrote parts of this in 2008, so all the “yesterdays” and “last weeks” are a little off.  There is no way that yesterday was the best day of my life.  Possibly, the day I wrote this post was the only one…

Wow.  That’s about all I can say.  Yesterday was possibly the best day of my life since I started getting Cushing’s symptoms, and that was over 25 years ago.  A quarter of a century of feeling exhausted, fatigued.  A quarter of my life spent taking naps and sleeping.

Last week  in this post I wrote in part:

I went to the endo yesterday.  Nothing has changed for me.  Nothing will.  He wants me to take more cortef.  I don’t want to gain weight again.  He looked up Provigil and it’s not indicated for panhypopituitarism.  So he won’t prescribe it.  My kidney surgeon probably won’t let me take, anyway, but it was worth a try.

…

He did mention that in “only” 2.5 years maybe I can go back on growth hormone.  I don’t want to live like this another year let alone 2.5.  But then, when I was on GH before it didn’t help me like it helps most everyone else.

I’m tired of catering to a kidney that may or may not fail sometime anyway, tired of being so exhausted all the time.  I feel like I’ve lost nearly half my life to this Cushing’s stuff already.

So, yesterday I was supposed to go to a conference on web design for churches.  My church sent me because they want me to spiff up their site and make them a new one for Christmas.  I wanted to go because, well, I like learning new stuff about the web.  I figured that I would learn stuff that would also be useful to me in others of my sites.

And I did!

But the amazing thing is this.  My son had told me  about a medication that was very similar to Provigil, that he had tried it while he was writing his doctoral thesis and it had helped him.

So, having tried the official doctor route and being rebuffed – again – I had decided to try this stuff on my own.

Just the night before I had written a response on Robin’s wonderful blog that reads in part:

I hate this disease, too.

I was just talking to a friend today about how I’d try nearly anything – even if it ruined my one remaining kidney – to have a few days where I felt good, normal, where I could wake up in the morning rested and be able to have energy for the day.

I want to go out and have fun, to be able to drive for more than 45 minutes without needing to rest, to be have people over for dinner, whatever. I hate being restricted by my lack of energy.

My endo says to cheer up. In two and a half years I can try the growth hormone again. Whoopee. Didn’t work the first time and maybe gave me, or contributed to, cancer growth. Why would I want to look forward to trying that again?

I want to feel good now. Today.

I hate that this disease kills but I also hate that it’s robbed me of half my life already.

I wish doctors would understand that even though we’ve “survived”, there’s no quality of life there.

I hate Cushing’s. It robs so much from so many of us. 😦

As I said earlier, I have a history of daily naps of at least 3 hours a day.  It cuts into everything and prevents me from doing many things.  I have to schedule my life around these naps and it’s awful.

rockford-2006-sue 12-18-2006 2-09-18 pmA few years ago I went on a Cushie trip to Rockford.  I’ve been there a few times and it’s always so much fun.  But this first year, we were going to another Cushie’s home for barbecue.  I didn’t drive, I rested in the back of the car during the drive.  We got there and I managed to stay awake for a little while.  Them I put my head down on the dining room table and fell asleep. Our hostess kindly suggested that I move over to the sofa.

So, I have a long history of daily naps, not getting through the day, yadda, yadda.

So, I was a little nervous about yesterday.  I really wanted to go to this conference, and was afraid I’d have to go nap in my car.

I got up at 5:30 am yesterday.  Before I left at 7:15, I took my Cortef and then I took my non-FDA approved simulated Provigil.  (Although it’s not FDA approved, it is not illegal to possess without a prescription and can be imported privately by citizens)

I stayed awake for the whole conference, went to a bell rehearsal, did Stacey’s interview, had dinner and went to bed about 10:30PM.  NO NAP!  I did close my eyes a little during the 4:00PM session but it was also b-o-r-i-n-g.

I stayed awake, I enjoyed myself, I learned stuff, I participated in conversations (completely unlike shy me!).

I felt like I think normal people feel.  I was amazed.  Half my life wasted and I finally (thank you Michael!) had a good day.

My kidney doctor and my endo would probably be appalled but it’s about time that I had some life again!  Maybe in another 25 years, I’ll take another pill.  LOL

Well, the energy from the Adrafinil was a one day thing.  I felt great on Thursday.   Friday and Saturday I slept more than usual.  Saturday, today, was one of those days where I sleep nearly all day.  Maybe if I took the drug more it would build up in my system, maybe not.  But it was still worth having that one day where I felt what I imagine normal to be.

While I was being a slug today, my husband painted the entire house.

I’m not sure if I would have been this tired today or if I was somehow making up for the nap I didn’t get on Thursday.  Whatever the case, I’m glad that I had the opportunity to try this and to experience the wonderful effects, if only for one day.

Information from a site that sells this:

Alertness Without Stimulation

Adrafinil is the prototype of a new class of smart drug – the eugeroics (ie, “good arousal”) designed to promote vigilance and alertness. Developed by the French pharmaceutical company Lafon Laboratories, adrafinil (brand name, Olmifon) has been approved in many European countries for treating narcolepsy, a condition characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness and other unusual symptoms.

Non-narcoleptic users generally find that adrafinil gives them increased energy and reduces fatigue, while improving cognitive function, mental focus, concentration, and memory. It has been reported that quiet people who take adrafinil become more talkative, reserved people become more open, and passive people become more active.

Of course, many stimulant drugs, ranging from caffeine to methamphetamine, are known to produce similar alerting/energizing effects. Adrafinil has been described by some users as a “kinder, gentler” stimulant, because it provides these benefits but usually with much less of the anxiety, agitation, insomnia, associated with conventional stimulants.

Adrafinil’s effects are more subtle than those of the stimulants you may be used to, building over a period of days to months. They appear to be based on its ability to selectively stimulate 1-adrenergic receptors in the brain.2 These receptors normally respond to norepinephrine (noradrenaline), a neurotransmitter linked to alertness, learning, and memory. This is in contrast to conventional stimulants, which stimulate a broader spectrum of brain receptors, including those involving dopamine. Its more focused activity profile may account for adrafinil’s relative lack of adverse side effects.

There’s more info about Adrafinil on Wikipedia

It’s interesting that that snipped report that people become more talkative.  I reported that in the original post, too, even though I didn’t realize that this was a possibility.

A good quote that I wish I could relate to better:

“Time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into a life of action and purpose.”

Lance Armstrong (1971 – )
Cyclist, seven-time Tour de France champion and cancer survivor

Newer stuff starts here:

Awhile ago I went to a handbell festival. I took a bit of adrafinil on the main day to try to stay awake for the whole day. It didn’t seem to keep me as on as it did before. I can’t be used to it already. Maybe I’m just that much more tired than I was before.

Our son lives in New York and every few years he gives us tickets to see a Broadway show.  A couple years ago we took the train to NY to see Wicked.  Usually my DH wants to go out and see sights while we’re there.  I usually want to nap.

This time we got up on Saturday morning, went out for breakfast.  I wanted to take in the whole day and enjoy Wicked so I took some Adrafinil.  We got back to the hotel and got ready to go to a museum or other point of interest.

But, DH wanted to rest a bit first.  Then our son closed his eyes for a bit…

So, I found myself the only one awake for the afternoon.  They both work up in time for the show…

Sigh  It was a great show, though.

 

A recent Christmas I was going to get my son some Adrafinil as a gift.  The original place we bought it didn’t have any more stock so I tracked it down as a surprise.  He was going to give me some, as well, but couldn’t get it from the original source, either.  So he found something very similar called Modafinil.  GMTA!

 

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Day Sixteen, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2015

Posted on April 16, 2015 by MaryO

This is one of the suggestions from the Cushing’s Awareness Challenge post:

What have you learned about the medical community since you have become sick?

This one is so easy. I’ve said it a thousand times – you know your own body better than any doctor will. Most doctors have never seen a Cushing’s patient, few ever will in the future.

If you believe you have Cushing’s (or any other rare disease), learn what you can about it, connect with other patients, make a timeline of symptoms and photographs. Read, take notes, save all your doctors notes, keep your lab findings, get second/third/ten or more opinions.  Make a calendar showing which days you had what symptoms.  Google calendars are great for this.

This is your life, your one and only shot (no pun intended!) at it. Make it the best and healthiest that you can.

When my friend and fellow e-patient Dave deBronkart learned he had a rare and terminal kidney cancer, he turned to a group of fellow patients online and found a medical treatment that even his own doctors didn’t know. It saved his life.

In this video he calls on all patients to talk with one another, know their own health data, and make health care better one e-Patient at a time.

 

7a4e4-maryoonerose

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