Day 26, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2016

 

So often during the diagnosis phase of Cushing’s I felt like this picture – I was walking alone to an unknown place with an unknown future.

My diagnosis was pre-Internet which meant that any information had to be gotten from libraries, bookstores, magazines…or doctors.  In 1983 to 1986 I knew something was terribly wrong but there was no backup from doctors, family or friends.  My first hope was from a magazine (see Day Six)

After I got that first glimmer of hope, it was off to the library to try to understand medical texts.  I would pick out words I did understand – and it was more words each trip.  I made Xerox copies of my findings to read at home and try to digest. (I still have all those old pages!)

All my research led me to Cushing’s.

Unfortunately, the research didn’t lead me to doctors who could help for several years.  That contributed greatly to the loneliness.  If a Doctor says you’re not sick, friends and family are going to believe the doctor, not you.  After all, he’s the one trained to know what’s wrong, or find out.

I was so grateful when I finally got into a clinical trial at NIH and was so nice not to be alone with this mystery illness.  I was also surprised to learn, awful as I felt, there were Cushies much worse off than I was.

I am so glad that the Internet is here now helping us all know that we’re not alone anymore.

 

 

We’re all in this together with help, support, research, just being there.  I love this quote from Catherine at http://wheniwasyou.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/wheniwasyou/

Mary, I am delighted to see you here. Cushings – because of the persistent central obesity caused by (we know now) the lack of growth hormone plus the hypothyroidism I was diagnosed with (but for which treatment was ineffective due to my lack of cortisol) – was one of the things I considered as an explanation for my symptoms. Your site was enormously educational and helpful to me in figuring out what might be happening to me. Those other patient testimonies I referred to? Many of them were the bios you posted. Thank you so much for commenting. I am so grateful for the support and encouragement. I really hope that my experiences will help other undiagnosed hypopituitary patients find their way to a diagnosis. I often used to dream that one day I’d get to say to others what was so often said to me: don’t give up, there will be an answer. I kept believing in myself because people I hadn’t even met believed in me. Now I am finally here and I do hope my story will help others to have faith in their own instincts.

Thanks again. Please do keep in touch.

Catherine

Day 17, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2016

 

Because it’s a Sunday again, this is a semi-religious post…

After I was finished with the Cushing’s long diagnostic process, surgery and several post-op visits to NIH, I was asked to give the scripture reading at my church. The man who preached the sermon that week was the survivor of a horrific accident where he and his family were hit by a van while waiting at an airport.

I thought I had written down the scripture reading carefully. I practiced and practiced. I don’t like speaking in front of a crowd but I said I would. When I got to church, the reading was different from what I had practiced. Maybe I wrote it down wrong, maybe someone changed it. Whatever.

The real scripture turned out to be Psalm 116. I got very emotional while reading this and started crying when I got to verse 8 “For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death“.  Others in the congregation who knew part of my story were very moved, too.

psalm-116-1-4

Psalm 116 (New International Version)

1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.

2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

4 Then I called on the name of the LORD:
“O LORD, save me!”

5 The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.

6 The LORD protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,

9 that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.

10 I believed; therefore I said,
“I am greatly afflicted.”

11 And in my dismay I said,
“All men are liars.”

12 How can I repay the LORD
for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.

14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his saints.

16 O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant;
you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.

18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,

19 in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

This Psalm has come to have so much meaning in my life. When I saw at a book called A Musician’s Book of Psalms each day had a different psalm. “My” psalm  was listed as the reading for my birthday, so I had to buy this book!  For a while, it was the license plate on my car.

I used to carry a print out of this everywhere I go because I find it very soothing. “when I was in great need, he saved me.” This print out is in a plastic page saver but now I have this info on my phone and iPad.

On the other side there is an article I found after my kidney cancer.  You can read that article in yesterday’s post.

Day 9, Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2016

day-late

 

Uh, Oh – I’m nearly a day late (and a dollar short?)…and I’m not yet sure what today’s topic will be.  I seem swamped by everything lately, waking up tired, napping, going to bed tired, waking up in the middle of the night, starting all over again…and I’m travelling this weekend, which makes everything more hectic and tiring.

It’s been like this since I was being diagnosed with Cushing’s in the mid-1980’s.  You’d think  things would be improved in the last 29 years.  But, no.

My mind wants things to have improved, so I’ve taken on more challenges, and my DH has provided some for me (see one of my other blogs, MaryOMedical).

Thank goodness, I have only part-time jobs (4 0f them!), that I can mostly do from home.  I don’t know how anyone post-Cushing’s could manage a full-time job!

I can see this post morphing into the topic “My Dream Day“…

I’d wake up refreshed and really awake at about 7:00AM and take the dog out for a brisk run.

Get home about 8:00AM and start on my website work.

Later in the morning, I’d get some bills paid – and there would be enough money to do so!

After lunch, out with the dog again, then practice the piano some, read a bit, finish up the website work, teach a few piano students, work on my church job, then dinner.

After dinner, check email, out with the dog, maybe handbell or choir practice, a bit of TV, then bed about 10PM

Nothing fancy but NO NAPS.  Work would be getting done, time for hobbies, the dog, 3 healthy meals.

Just a normal life that so many take for granted. Or, do they?

 

me-tired

Straight Talk Cushing’s

awareness

 

On April 8th, people from around the world unite in support of Cushing’s Disease Awareness Day.

In this animated video, learn more about Cushing’s disease, including the mechanism of disease, clinical manifestations, symptoms and diagnosis challenges.

Day 6: Cushing’s Awareness Challenge 2016

The above is the official Cushing’s path to a diagnosis but here’s how it seems to be in real life:

Egads!  I remember the naive, simple days when I thought I’d give them a tube or two of blood and they’d tell me I had Cushing’s for sure.

Who knew that diagnosing Cushing’s would be years of testing, weeks of collecting every drop of urine, countless blood tests, many CT and MRI scans…

Then going to NIH, repeating all the above over 6 weeks inpatient plus an IPSS test, an apheresis (this was experimental at NIH) and specialty blood tests…

The path to a Cushing’s diagnosis is a long and arduous one but you have to stick with it if you believe you have this Syndrome.

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