Participating in Life

Posted on January 7, 2026 by MaryO

I think that this is so important, especially with our health.  Had I not been an active participant and followed several doctors’ advice 25 years ago, I’d most likely not been here to write this.

I see this all the time, though.  Whatever the doctor says is true.  People will say that the doctor gave me this or that med but they don’t know what it is for.

I just don’t get how people can take meds and not have a clue what they are, how they work, how they might interact with other drugs they may be taking.  But it happens because people blindly follow whatever a doctor may give them.

Participation is so important – you have to know how YOU’RE feeling, what YOUR symptom are.  Do your own research.  Your doctor doesn’t know what it feels like to live in your body no matter how much you try to tell him/her.

Ultimately, you are the one who cares most about yourself and the only one who can make a difference through your research, thoughts and actions.

Just because a doctor gives you something, you don’t have to take it.  24 years ago a locally well-known neurologist “gave me” Xanax. Since he couldn’t see my tumor with his Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machine there was “no possibility” that it existed.  Had I followed his advice, taken the Xanax and stopped pursuing a Cushing’s diagnosis I would most have likely died by now.

The doctor was going by the odds.  The odds were that I really didn’t have a pituitary tumor.  But I’m not a statistic and neither are you.  Follow your instincts and take care of YOU.  This is the only life you’ll ever have.

The most healing thing we can do for ourselves is to participate in the process of our lives as fully as we can-even when the unexpected and the fearful happen.

~Today’s Page-a-Day calendar

What do YOU do to keep participating in your health care and daily life?

Filed under: Cushing's, General Health, Health Care | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

On Becoming Empowered

Posted on January 1, 2026 by MaryO

This is kind of a “cheat” post since it’s a compilation of other posts, web pages, message board posts and some original thoughts.  

For all of my early life, I was the good, compliant, patient.  I took whatever pills the doctor prescribed, did whatever tests h/she (most always a he) wrote for.  Believed that whatever he said was the absolute truth.  He had been to med school.  He knew what was wrong with me even though he didn’t live in my body 24/7 and experience what I did.

I know a lot of people are still like this.  Their doctor is like a god to them.  He can do no wrong – even if they don’t feel any better after treatment, even if they feel worse.  “But the doctor said…”

Anyway, I digress.

All this changed for me in 1983.

At first I noticed I’d stopped having my periods and, of course, I thought I was pregnant. I went to my Gynecologist who had no explanation. Lots of women lose their periods for a variety of reasons so no one thought that this was really significant.

Then I got really tired, overly tired. I would take my son to a half hour Choir rehearsal and could not stay awake for the whole time. I would lie down in the back of the van, set an alarm and sleep for the 30 minutes.

A whole raft of other symptoms started appearing – I grew a beard (Hirsuitism), gained weight even though I was on Weight Watchers and working out at the gym nearly every day, lost my period, everything hurt, got what is called a “moon face” and a “buffalo hump” on the back of my neck. I also got stretch marks. I was very depressed but it’s hard to say if that was because of the hormone imbalance or because I felt so bad and no one would listen to me.

I came across a little article in the Ladies Home Journal magazine which said “If you have these symptoms…ask your doctor about Cushing’s”. After that, I started reading everything I could on Cushing’s and asking my doctors. Due to all my reading at the library and medical books I bought, I was sure I had Cushing’s but no one would believe me. Doctors would say that Cushing’s Disease is too rare, that I was making this up and that I couldn’t have it.

I asked doctors for three years – PCP, gynecologist, neurologist, podiatrist – all said the now-famous refrain.  It’s too rare.  You couldn’t have Cushing’s.  I kept persisting in my reading, making copies of library texts even when I didn’t understand them, keeping notes.  I just knew that someone, somewhere would “discover” that I had Cushing’s.

My husband was on the doctors’ sides.  He was sure it was all in my mind (as opposed to all in my head!) and he told me to just think “happy thoughts” and it would all go away.

A Neurologist gave me Xanax. Since he couldn’t see my tumor with his Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machine there was “no possibility” that it existed. Boy was he wrong!

Later in 1986 I started bruising incredibly easily. I could touch my skin and get a bruise. On New Year’s Day of 1987 I started bleeding under the skin. My husband made circles around the outside perimeter each hour with a marker, like the rings of a tree. When I went to my Internist the next day he was shocked at the size. He now thought I had a blood disorder so he sent me to a Hematologist/Oncologist.

Fortunately, the Hematologist/Oncologist ran a twenty-four hour urine test and really looked at me. Both he and his partner recognized that I had Cushing’s. Of course, he was sure that he did the diagnosis.  No matter that I had been pursuing this with other doctors for 3 years.

It was not yet determined if it was Cushing’s Disease (Pituitary) or Syndrome (Adrenal). However, he couldn’t help me any further so the Hematologist referred me to an Endocrinologist.

The Endocrinologist, of course, didn’t trust the other tests I had had done so I was back to square one. He ran his own multitude of tests. He had to draw blood at certain times like 9 AM. and 5 PM. There was a dexamethasone suppression test where I took a pill at 10 p.m. and gave blood at 9 am the next day. I collected gallons of urine in BIG boxes (Fun in the fridge!). Those were from 6 a.m. to 6 a.m. to be delivered to his office by 9 a.m. same day. I was always worried that I’d be stopped in rush hour and the police would ask about what was in that big container. I think I did those for a week. He also did standard neurological tests and asked lots of questions.

When the endo confirmed that I had Cushing’s in 1987 he sent me to a local hospital where they repeated all those same tests for another week and decided that it was not my adrenal gland (Cushing’s Syndrome) creating the problem. The doctors and nurses had no idea what to do with me, so they put me on the brain cancer ward.

When I left this hospital after a week, we didn’t know any more than we had before.

As luck would have it, NIH (National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, Maryland) was doing a clinical trial of Cushing’s. I live in the same area as NIH so it was not too inconvenient but very scary at first to think of being tested there. At that time I only had a choice of NIH, Mayo Clinic and a place in Quebec to do this then-rare pituitary surgery called a Transsphenoidal Resection. I chose NIH – closest and free. After I was interviewed by the Doctors there, I got a letter that I had been accepted into the clinical trial. The first time I was there was for 6 weeks as an inpatient. More of the same tests.

There were about 12 of us there and it was nice not to be alone with this mystery disease. Many of these Cushies (mostly women) were getting bald, couldn’t walk, having strokes, had diabetes. One was blind, one had a heart attack while I was there. Towards the end of my testing period, I was looking forward to the surgery just to get this whole mess over with. While I was at NIH, I was gaining about a pound a day!

The MRI still showed nothing, so they did a Petrosal Sinus Sampling Test. That scared me more than the prospect of surgery. (This test carries the risk of stroke and uncontrollable bleeding from the incision points.) Catheters were fed from my groin area to my pituitary gland and dye was injected. I could watch the whole procedure on monitors. I could not move during this test or for several hours afterwards to prevent uncontrolable bleeding from a major artery. The test did show where the tumor probably was located. Also done were more sophisticated dexamethasone suppression tests where drugs were administered by IV and blood was drawn every hour (they put a heplock in my arm so they don’t have to keep sticking me). I got to go home for a weekend and then went back for the surgery – the Transsphenoidal Resection. I fully expected to die during surgery (and didn’t care if I did) so I signed my will and wrote last letters to those I wanted to say goodbye to. During the time I was home just before surgery, a college classmate of mine (I didn’t know her) did die at NIH of a Cushing’s-related problem. I’m so glad I didn’t find out until a couple months later!

November 3, 1987, the surgeon, Dr. Ed Oldfield, cut the gum above my front teeth under my upper lip so there is no scar. He used tiny tools and microscopes. My tumor was removed successfully. In some cases (not mine) the surgeon uses a plug of fat from the abdomen to help seal the cut. Afterwards, I was in intensive care overnight and went to a neurology ward for a few days until I could walk without being dizzy. I had some major headaches for a day or two but they gave me drugs (morphine) for those. Also, I had cotton plugs in my nostrils. It was a big day when they came out. I had diabetes insipidus (DI) for a little while, but that went away by itself – thank goodness!

I had to use a foam product called “Toothies” to brush my teeth without hitting the incision. Before they let me go home, I had to learn to give myself an injection in my thigh. They sent me home with a supply of injectible cortisone in case my level ever fell too low (it didn’t). I was weaned gradually off cortisone pills (scary). I now take no medications. I had to get a Medic Alert bracelet. I will always need to tell medical staff when I have any kind of procedure – the effects of my excess cortisone will remain forever.

I went back to the NIH for several follow-up visits of a week each where they did all the blood and urine testing again. After a few years NIH set me free. Now I go to my “outside” endocrinologist every year for the dexamethasone suppression test, 24-hour urine and regular blood testing.

As I get further away from my surgery, I have less and less chance that my tumor will grow back. I have never lost all the weight I gained and I still have the hair on my chin but most of my other symptoms are gone. I am still and always tired and need a nap most days. I do not, however, still need to take whole days off just to sleep.

I consider myself very lucky that I was treated before I got as bad as some of the others on my floor at NIH but think it is crazy that these symptoms are not taken seriously by doctors.

My story goes on and if you’re interested some is on this blog and some is here:

Forbes Magazine | MaryO’s bio | Cushing’s and Cancer Blog | Cushing’s Awareness Day Testimonial Archive |

Because of this experience in getting a Cushing’s diagnosis – and later, a prescription for growth hormone – I was concerned that there were probably other people not being diagnosed with Cushing’s. When I searched online for Cushing’s, all the sites that came up were for dogs and horses with Cushing’s.  Not what I was looking for!

In July of 2000, I was talking with my dear friend Alice, who ran a wonderful menopause site, Power Surge, wondering why there weren’t many support groups online (OR off!) for Cushing’s.  This thought percolated through my mind for a few hours and I realized that maybe this was my calling.  Maybe I should be the one to start a network of support for other “Cushies” to help them empower themselves.

I wanted to educate others about the awful disease that took doctors years of my life to diagnose and treat – even after I gave them the information to diagnose me.  I didn’t want anyone else to suffer for years like I did.  I wanted doctors to pay more attention to Cushing’s disease.

The first website (http://www.cushings-help.com) went “live” July 21, 2000.  It was just a single page of information. The message boards began September 30, 2000 with a simple message board which then led to a larger one, and a larger.  Today, in 2010, we have over 7 thousand members.  Some “rare disease”!

The message boards are stillactive and we have weekly online text chats, weekly live interviews, local meetings, conferences, email newsletters, a clothing exchange, a Cushing’s Awareness Day Forum, podcasts, phone support and much more. Because I wanted to spread the word to others not on “the boards” we have extended out to social networking sites – twitter groups, facebook groups, twines, friendfeeds, newsletters, websites, chat groups, multiply.com, and much, much more.

People are becoming more empowered and participating in their own diagnoses, testing and treatment.  This have changed a lot since 1983!

When I had my Cushing’s over 40 years ago (AARRGGHH!), I never thought that I would meet another Cushing’s patient in real life or online. Back then, I’d never even been aware that there was anything like an “online”. I’m so glad that people struggling with Cushing’s today don’t have to suffer anymore thinking that they’re the only one who deals with this.

Because of my work on the websites – and, believe me it is a ton of work! – I have had the honor of meeting over a hundred other Cushies personally at local meetings, conferences, at NIH (the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, MD where I had my final diagnosis and surgery). It occurred to me once that this is probably more than most endocrinologists will ever see in their entire career. I’ve also talked to countless others on the phone. Amazing for a “rare” disease!

I don’t know what pushed me in 1983, how I got the confidence and self-empowerment to challenge these doctors and their non-diagnoses over the years.  I’m glad that I didn’t suffer any longer than I did and I’m glad that I have a role in helping others to find the medical help that they need.

What do *YOU* think?  How are you becoming empowered?

Filed under: Clinical trials, Cushing's, General Health, Health Care, pituitary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

You Know You’re Chronically Ill When You…

Posted on December 17, 2025 by MaryO

…have a pajama collection.

…call the pharmacist and she recognizes your voice before you tell her what it is.

…are psyched to get a computer table tray for sitting in bed as a gift.

…find out that you can order a three month supply of meds online and you think it’s great.

…share and discuss journal articles with your doctor.

…have an inbox full of emails all from people with your disease or related to your disease.

…get updates from MedScape.

…set up your pills a month ahead of time in pill holders.

…have pill stashes in your car, purse, backpack, etc.

MaryO’Updates:

…have Dr F, Dr L and/or Dr IMMC on speed dial.

…bought a case of sharps containers on eBay.

…have a hospital bag always ready to go.

…have a “Got Hump” tattoo

…share pictures online of your stretch marks like they were badges of honor

…you know why there’s a zebra in my avatar

MaryOZebra

MaryO’Zebra

Added by Facebook friends:

…know approximately how much your urine output is in mL’s before you go because you’ve measured it so often before.

…When a specialists at a leading university hospital tells you “you are too complicated”.

…when multiple specialists at multiple leading hospitals tell you your case is complicated! (had to add to that!)

…when you only know the day of the week by your pill container!!

…when you get to park in the handicap spots and you’re only 25 years old!!

…you know to tell the person who’s drawing your blood to ice and centrofuge your vile for the ACTH test!!

…you can’t make plans beyond the next hour because you don’t know how sick you’ll feel!!

…when the most excitement you’ve had in a month is your drs appt! And you’re looking forward to your next appt so you can get out of the house!!

…When the people who work in the lab great you like Norm on Cheers when you arrive.

…When you know which vein is the “sweet vein.”

Feel free to add your own! 🙂

Filed under: Cushing's, General Health, Rare Diseases | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Helping others learn more about Cushing’s/Acromegaly

Posted on November 28, 2025 by MaryO

I found this article especially interesting.  This question was asked of a group of endos at an NIH conference a few years ago – if you saw someone on the street who looked like they had symptoms of fill-in-the disease, would you suggest that they see a doctor.  The general answer was no.  No surprise there.

Patients, if you see someone who looks like s/he has Cushing’s, give them a discrete card.

Spread The Word! Cushing’s Pocket Reference

Robin Writes:

This has been a concern of mine for some time. Your post spurred me on to do something I’ve been meaning to do. I’ve designed something you can print that will fit on the business cards you can buy just about anywhere (Wal-mart included). You can also print on stiff paper and cut with a paper cutter or scissors. I’ve done a front and a back.

Cushing's Pocket Reference

Here are the links:

• Front: This card is being presented by a person who cares.
• Back (The same for everyone)

This Topic on the Message Boards

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, the article from http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/nov/03/doctor-diagnosis-stranger:

Are doctors ever really off duty?

Which potentially serious symptoms would prompt them to stop and advise a stranger on a bus?

By Lucy Atkins

Bus

Passengers on a London bus. Photograph: David Levene

A Spanish woman of 55, Montse Ventura, recently met the woman she refers to as her “guardian angel” on a bus in Barcelona. The stranger – an endocrinologist – urged Ventura to have tests for acromegaly, a rare disorder involving an excesss of growth hormone, caused by a pituitary gland tumour. How had the doctor made this unsolicited diagnosis on public transport? Apparently the unusual, spade-like shape of Ventura’s hands was a dead giveaway.

But how many off-duty doctors would feel compelled to alert strangers to symptoms they spot? “If I was sitting next to someone on a bus with a melanoma, I’d say something or I wouldn’t sleep at night,” says GP Mary McCullins. “We all have a different threshold for interfering and you don’t want to terrify people, but this is the one thing I’d urge a total stranger to see a doctor about.” So what other symptoms might prompt a doctor to approach someone on the street?

Moon face

Cushing’s syndrome is another rare hormone disorder which can be caused by a non-cancerous tumour in the pituitary gland. “A puffy, rounded ‘moon face’ is one of the classic signs of Cushing’s,” says Dr Steve Field, chair of the Royal College of GPs. “In a social situation, I wouldn’t just say, ‘You’re dangerously ill’ but I’d try to elicit information and encourage them to see a doctor.”

Different-sized pupils

When one pupil is smaller than the other, perhaps with a drooping eyelid, it could be Horner’s syndrome, a condition caused when a lung tumour begins eating into the nerves in the neck. This can be the first obvious sign of the cancer. “I’d encourage someone to get this checked out,” says Dr Simon Smith, consultant in emergency medicine at the Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Trust. “People often have an inkling that something’s wrong, and you might spur them to get help sooner.”

Clubbing fingers

Some people are born with club-shaped fingers, but if, over time, they become “drumstick-like”, this could signify serious problems such as lung tumours, chronic lung infections or congenital heart disease. “Because it happens gradually, some people disregard clubbing,” says Smith. “But I’d say something because it can be an important symptom in many serious illnesses.”

Lumpy eyelids

Whitish yellowy lumps around the eyelids can be a sign of high cholesterol, a major factor in heart disease. Sometimes you also get a yellow circle around the iris. “I would suggest they got a cholesterol test with these symptoms,” says Smith. “They can do something about it that could save their life.”

Suntan in unlikely places

A person with Addison’s disease, a rare but chronic condition brought about by the failure of the adrenal glands, may develop what looks like a deep tan, even in non sun-exposed areas such as the palms. Other symptoms (tiredness, dizziness) can be non-specific so the condition is often advanced by the time it is diagnosed. Addison’s is treatable with lifelong steroid replacement therapy. “If someone was saying they hadn’t been in the sun but had developed a tan, alarm bells would ring and I’d probably ask how they were feeling,” says McCullins.

Trench mouth

Putrid smelling breath – even if the teeth look perfect – can be a sign of acute necrotising periodontitis. “I’d be able to tell when someone walks through the door,” says dentist Laurie Powell. “But people become accustomed to it and don’t notice.” Untreated, the condition damages the bones and connective tissue in the jaw. It can also be a sign of other diseases such as diabetes or Aids.

Filed under: adrenal, Cushing's, General Health, pituitary, Rare Diseases | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Münchausen By Media

Posted on August 30, 2025 by MaryO

The Internet makes it so easy to develop weird and unusual diseases.  Just plop a symptom into Google and suddenly you find yourself with stomach cancer, Cushing’s or other dread diseases.

Even on TV, the ads for lawyers almost convince people they might have mesothelioma and other rare illnesses that might bring you – and them! – bundles of money if you just sue someone.

Magazine ads implore you to “ask your doctor about…” this drug or that you might or might not need.  Your doctor might just give it to you to keep you from asking.  And there’s a needless medication that brings profit to the drug company and side effects to you.

TV shows like House and Mystery Diagnosis will show you diseases you never dreamed about.

There’s a great topic on the Power Surge message boards, What’s the worst “disease or ailment” you’ve had, where the women discuss the diseases they thought that they had, based on symptoms, what they’ve seen online, in the news but not based on reality.

I’ve done it myself.  About the only time I was right was with my Cushing’s diagnosis. That one was a good call. But my thoughts of kidney cancer metastasis haven’t come true (yet, anyway!).

There’s been information online lately about Münchausen Syndrome.  Wikipedia says:

“…the affected person exaggerates or creates symptoms of illnesses in themselves or their child/children in order to gain investigation, treatment, attention, sympathy, and comfort from medical personnel. In some extremes, people suffering from Münchausen’s Syndrome are highly knowledgeable about the practice of medicine, and are able to produce symptoms that result in multiple unnecessary operations. For example, they may inject a vein with infected material, causing widespread infection of unknown origin, and as a result cause lengthy and costly medical analysis and prolonged hospital stay. The role of “patient” is a familiar and comforting one, and it fills a psychological need in people with Münchausen’s. It is distinct from hypochondriasis in that patients with Münchausen syndrome are aware that they are exaggerating, whereas sufferers of hypochondriasis believe they actually have a disease.”

I think we’ve all see this, especially online.  It’s so easy to sit in the comfort of ones home and add “just a little” to the symptoms, making it more impressive for the readers.

From A Strange Case of Münchausen By Internet:

“…When I first got online, I “met” a young woman who claimed to be a vet, and offered me all kinds of advice about my cat and my tropical fish. She got cancer, slowly declined, then died. We wanted to send flowers, and maybe attend the funeral, and got her ISP to contact her family for us. To our shock, her parents said there was no funeral. She wasn’t dead, she wasn’t even sick. At least not physically. She’d pulled this kind of “pretend death” several times before, and was in therapy, but every time life got stressful, she’d do it again.

And the Internet is the ideal place for a Munchausen sufferer. With the click of a button, you can find out all kinds of information, to help you pose as anyone you want. People don’t expect to see you in person or even talk to you except by e-mail, making deception easier. And often, mailing lists, message boards, etc., will give unqualified support to their members…”

And Media Makes Me Sick:

“…The Internet is hands-down the worst thing to ever happen to the medical world. With Web sites like WebMD, any paranoid hypochondriac like me can jump online, look for symptoms and immediately convince himself he has cancer or Cushing’s disease or non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma or any other of a million things.

WebMD allows you to find one symptom and then “helps” you by listing 15,000 things it could mean.

Oh my God. I do have a slight ache! That’s it. I must have a brain tumor. I’m not kidding, I recently scared myself into thinking I had cancer. It took a specialist, a CT scan and an ultra-sound to convince me otherwise…”

Karen found this older article at http://www.villagevoice.com/2001-06-26/news/cybersickness/1

“…Over nearly three years, from 1998 to 2000, a woman—let’s call her Anna—posted to an online support group for people with mental illness. To the larger circle of readers, she acted mostly as friendly counselor. But to a select few, she e-mailed stories of escalating catastrophes. Her husband and two children had perished in a plane crash, she wrote. As a kid, her father had molested her, and she had suffered multiple personality disorder. Finally, she told her trusted—and trusting—confidants that she had just been diagnosed with leukemia.

Gwen Grabb, a psychotherapy intern and mother of three in Los Angeles, says the group believed Anna because she took on the role of helping others, revealing her own difficulties much later, and to an intimate audience. “She was very bright,” recalls Grabb. “She was very supportive and kind. One day, she started telling me about `the crash,’ what they found in the black box, how you could hear her daughter screaming. I had known her a year. I believed her.”

But as the tales became more elaborate and grotesque, Grabb grew suspicious. Along with another group member—Pam Cohen, a bereavement counselor in the Mid-Atlantic region—she did some research and discovered Anna was making it up. It was a shock to all, but worse than that to Cohen. “It is like an emotional rape,” she says. People may have been upset over the online life and fatal cancer of the fictional Kaycee, whose creator admitted last month she’d invented the high school character for expressive purposes. But that was geared to a general audience, however easily suckered. Pretenders like Anna hurt a much more vulnerable group—folks who may be seriously ill and are seeking help…”

So – use caution and remember that not everything you read will happen to you!

Filed under: Cancer, Cushing's, General Health, Rare Diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

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